Distinguishing between what depends on us and what doesn't

Some things are within our control, and others are not. Within our control are judgment, choice, desire, aversion—in short, everything that is our own action. Not within our control are our body, our property, our reputation, our position—in short, everything that is not our own action. Moreover, what is within our control is by nature free, unhindered, and unimpeded; what is not within our control is weak, servile, liable to obstruction, and not our own. Remember, then, that if you take what is naturally slavish to be free, and what is not your own to be your own, you will be frustrated, you will grieve, you will be unsettled, and you will blame both gods and men. But if you take only what is truly your own to be your own, and what is not your own to be—as it really is—not your own, then no one will ever be able to compel you, no one will hinder you, you will blame no one, you will find fault with no one, you will do absolutely nothing against your will, you will have no personal enemy, no one will harm you, because no harm can reach you.

With such lofty aims, remember that you must rouse yourself with more than a little effort to grasp them; you will have to give up some things entirely and postpone others for the time being. But if you want these aims as well, and at the same time want both position and wealth, you may not even get those latter things, because you are also aiming at the former; and you will certainly fail to get the former, which alone bring freedom and happiness.

Therefore, from the very beginning, make it your practice to say to every harsh external impression, “You are an impression from outside, and not at all what you appear to be.” Then examine it and test it by these rules you have, the first and most important being this: whether the impression concerns what is within our control or what is not within our control; and if it concerns something not within our control, have this answer ready: “It is nothing to me.”