Stoicism tells us that we should never fear the judgment of others, because the judgement of others is something that we do not own, something which is external to us.
This is the foundation of our Stoic thinking.
In this text, Epictetus explores the roots of anxiety, revealing that your worry is primarily fueled by your desire to control what is beyond your control: the judgment of others. But, if you master your subject, why fear what others might think of you?
Would they do better than you?
Have they even put themselves out there as you have?
Epictetus illustrates this idea with the example of a musician who is serene when playing alone but becomes anxious on stage, where he longs for the audience's applause, an unpredictable external element. This anxiety, according to Epictetus , arises from the gap between the skills you master and the unexplored areas of your life, notably your thirst for external approval and recognition, things you should not desire because they are out of your control.
He tells us
that true
peace of mind
comes from understanding and accepting what you have direct power over: mastering your subject (your actions), rather than the perceptions and behaviors of those around you. And to achieve this serenity, Epictetus says it's up to you to educate yourself: that is, to understand and internalize the dichotomy of this world: there is what depends on you, and what does not.
~
"When I meet someone who seems anxious, I always wonder what they truly desire. If this person did not desire what is out of their reach, would they really be anxious?
Take the example of a musician playing the harp:
alone, he is serene,
but as soon as he finds himself under the spotlight, even with undeniable talent, anxiety takes hold of him. He no longer desires only to play well; he also aspires to receive applause, an element beyond his control. This musician is confident when it comes to his art, but anxiety overcomes him when facing the unknown, like the audience's appreciation, an area he does not understand because he has never studied it.
This makes him vulnerable to fear.
When I see someone jitter like that, I do not doubt their musical skills but I notice they are more than just a musician; they are also a stranger in their own environment, ignorant of the customs and laws that govern our society. If they were unaware of how to draft a will, they would seek help from a notary. Yet, they pursue their desires without questioning their scope or feasibility, without understanding what belongs to them or not.
If they were aware that some things are not up to them, they would know no embarrassment, no constraint, no anxiety. After all, why fear what is not harmful, or even evil, if we have the power to avoid it?
If what we cannot control is neither good nor bad, and if what we can control depends entirely on us, where would anxiety come from? Our worries are often related to our physique, our financial situation, or the opinion of the powerful, but our mind, must remain sheltered from these torments.
Should I worry about making a mistake?
Absolutely not, because it's up to me to ensure I do not. And to pursue a goal that goes against my nature? Certainly not. So, when you meet someone who seems exhausted, adopt the perspective of a doctor analyzing symptoms: 'This one suffers from the liver, while that one has a problem with the spleen.' You should conclude likewise: 'Their desire and repulsion are disordered, they are not controlled; they are not healthy, they burn.' These feelings are actually the only reasons why our complexion changes, we tremble, or our teeth chatter; nothing else causes this. '
Zeno, for example, remained calm in the face of Antigone, knowing that nothing that mattered to Antigone concerned him. Antigone, on the other hand, was anxious, desiring Zeno's approval, an uncertain quest.
A true expert does not seek the approval of those who do not master his art.
A good man does not suffer, does not lament fearing the judgment of others. Why worry about what is out of our control? It's up to the other to welcome our actions. If you are master of your words, why fear? If you have learned to write or to read, it's because you have gained confidence in these areas. Similarly, if you have learned to argue and discuss, you should be able to do so with assurance and skill."