What we see is perception, and what we hear is opinion

Not long ago, I came across this adage: “What we see is perception, what we hear is opinion.”

It struck me that there was a clear parallel to be drawn with Stoicism—and when I think about it, it seems that many proverbs and maxims are, in one way or another, derived from our philosophy, such as:

“Every cloud has a silver lining
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
Tend your own garden
What goes around comes around
If you want peace, prepare for war
A blessing in disguise.
etc.
–

But let’s come back to the initial idiom: “What we see is perception, what we hear is opinion.

What do you really see when you look at the world?
And what do you truly hear when others speak?
You might think the answer is simple: you see what’s in front of you, you hear what is said. But the Stoics would tell you otherwise. What you see is not reality itself, it is perception. And what you hear is not truth, it is opinion.

Often, when you hear others speaking about you, you will hear a compliment, a criticism, a passing remark. The question is: what weight do you give to these words? It’s tempting to believe that what others say reflects some objective truth, that their praise confirms our worth and their judgment exposes our flaws. But what you hear is not reality, it is opinion.

In Stoicism, there is a lesser-known but crucial concept called phantasiai—our impressions of the world. Every moment, we are bombarded with sights, sounds, and experiences. But before we even realize it, our minds have already distorted them. Imagine you receive a sharp email from your boss. Your immediate impression might be, He’s angry at me. I must have done something wrong. But is that true? Or is it just your interpretation, one colored by fear, past experiences, or insecurity? But we should never trust your first impression outright.
Before you react,
pause.
Question.
Examine.

Now, what about words?

When someone speaks to you—whether it’s praise, criticism, or casual talk—what are they really offering?

Not truth, but opinion.

Someone calls you brilliant? That is their opinion.

Someone insults you? That, too, is just their perspective.

None of these words have real power unless you give it to them.

We often live as if we are trapped in the reflections others cast upon us. A word of admiration inflates our sense of self; a disapproving look, a careless comment, and suddenly we shrink. But what are these, if not mere opinions? And what are opinions? Fleeting, unstable, shaped more by the speaker’s own biases, emotions, and experiences than by any objective truth. One person sees you as admirable, another as inadequate. One moment you are celebrated, the next you are forgotten. If opinions contradict each other so easily, how can they ever define you? A person’s judgment of you is shaped by their mood, their background, their own struggles—things that have nothing to do with you. Meaning: just because someone says something does not make it true. The way they see you is not who you are. Their praise does not make you better, and their disapproval does not make you worse.

Just think of how quickly your own opinions change. What you admired yesterday might seem unremarkable today. The people you once envied, you may now pity. If even your own perceptions are inconsistent, how can you place your sense of self in the hands of others, who are just as fickle?

If you live by the opinions of others, you will always be at their mercy. Chained to their approval, wounded by their criticism, never fully in possession of yourself. The next time you catch yourself reacting to someone’s words, step back. Ask yourself: Why does this affect me? Is this reality, or just an opinion? Let go of the need to be validated. Let go of the fear of being misjudged. Because true freedom begins when you stop letting others tell you who you are.