A common misconception about the Stoic sage is that he is fearless and indifferent to all events. He would never be saddened by the loss of a loved one or fearful of a threat. He would never worry under any circumstances.
This is not true,
as Seneca reminds us:
“Some other things strike the wise man, though they may not shake his principles, such as bodily pain and weakness, the loss of friends and children, and the ruin of his country in war-time. I do not say that the wise man does not feel these, for we do not ascribe to him the hardness of stone or iron; there is no virtue but is conscious of its own endurance.
What then does he? He receives some blows, but when he has received them he rises superior to them, heals them, and brings them to an end.” 1
You'll be tormented.
You'll suffer.
You'll feel fear.
You'll feel pain.
But the Stoic doesn't nurture these feelings. He recognizes them, understands them, and then isolates them. He knows that his heart isn't made of stone, but he also knows that he's not a natural sponge.
He acknowledges his own sensitivity, but refuses to consent. He absorbs the blow without letting it penetrate, without flinching. He feels the pain, but he doesn't put his feet on the ground. He prevents the sentiment from penetrating his inner feeling, his unity, his mental integrity, which constitutes his Guiding Principle – which we will study later.
Don't let it get you down.
Acknowledge the existence of fear or sadness without letting it dominate you.
It's human nature to feel things, and you cannot control that with the mind or intellect alone; we aren't artificial intelligences. But it's up to you to change your perception: see these feelings as something external, don't settle for them, and don't participate in the disturbances they bring into you.
This is how you can see things:
First, your emotion manifests, a shock that reaches the soul as a result of an event. You cannot suppress it at that moment.
Second, your judgment, which is taking hold. This judgment is malleable: you can choose to either sustain its negative impact or diminish it. Once you have fully integrated and analyzed it, the next step is to let go of it.
So the Stoic does not deny feelings. He recognises their existence, but describes them as "involuntary" and as something that lies outside of oneself. As something external, you cannot control them, they just happen, like bad weather in the distance. Just as you seek shelter on a rainy day, you can protect your mind by keeping these feelings at bay when they arise so as not to be unhappy.
See you soon {{username}}.