Dignity does not come from external things. Not from riches. Not from power. Not from the opinions of others. But from his your judgments, from your ability to distinguish between what is in his control and what is not.
Epictetus, in his usual sharp and practical manner, reminds us here of what true strength is:
“And when Odysseus 1 was shipwrecked and cast ashore, did his necessity make abject his spirit, or break it? Not at all, but how did he advance upon the maidens to ask for food, which is regarded as being the most disgraceful thing for one person to ask of another?
'As a lion reared in the mountains. '
In what did he trust? Not in social status, wealth, or position, but his own strength, that means, his judgements about the things which are under our control, and those which are not under our control. For these are the only things that make men free, that make men unhampered, raise us up from despair, that make them look with level eyes into the faces of the rich, and the faces of tyrants.
And all this was what the philosopher had to give.” 2
When Odysseus was washed ashore after a shipwreck, he was not deterred by his vulnerable position or by the king's daughter he met. He walked unimpressed by the fear of judgment, but carried by an inner strength and confidence.
His secret?
Your secret?
A deep conviction in your own abilities and a clear distinction between what is under your control and what is not. This self-confidence, which comes from your own self-knowledge and your own limitations, makes you free and independent and enables you to withstand the gaze of others without flinching.
Your true strength lies in this inner certainty.